Rock’nRoll is my Religion

‘When your idol’s rich and your guru’s smooth-talking’-Julie Burchill &Tony Parsons

Rock’nRoll as a religion is like Catholicism. Crowds gather to hear the messages punted through their icons and idols! They take your money with songs of praise as they get fat on your financial contributions, attendance and participation but most of all they draw strength and power from the belief in their supreme authority.

Hell, the way I see it that isn’t a bad thing. In fact I think its pretty awesome. Rock’nRoll’s a religion you want to be a part of. Like all religious organizations, the Rock religion offers its followers a sense of belonging and family.

We have our rules, ways to dress and not dress or speak and not speak. There’s the heirachy; the wags, the groupies, the girlfriends, the bands themselves -Rock Royalty you could say. And of coarse there are the gods! Dio, Iggy, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bon Jovi, Janis Joplin, The Sex Pistols… -each and all have their wisdom to share and guidance to bestow.
Masses and masses of crowds gather in support of their esteemed leaders and await their pearls on how to live! Some would even die for their gods (or flash their tits in giant arenas).

There are territories claimed and wars waged on behalf of musical preference and elitist snobbery; people’s faces get smashed up for liking pop, you get evicted from clubs and venues for not fitting their image, there are venues reserved for certain types of music (and crews) and regular acts, timeslots allocated according to the profile of the band or who gets to play main stage at festivals. Many of the best bands are the underground ones with their cult-like followings and occasionally the breakout wave of popularity making the band fashionable like that wave of kabala-cool that totally stripped the religion of any integrity it once possessed.

The laws on our tablets are simple:
Sex.
Drugs.
And Rock’nRoll.

Money hadn’t quite made the list originally but if there were to be a Rock’nRoll New Testament it sure as hell would be in there!!

But back in the day there was another contender for fourth commandment; under the guise of “revolution”, Rock’nRoll was a tool for enlightenment. Everyone was doing the hippie thing. The Beatles embraced those weird Indian fretless sounds ala Ravi Shankar and Bob Dylan was whining country hymns. Mostly the bands (likes of Jefferson Airplane and Jimi Hendrix for example) devoted themselves to acid and LSD with religious zeal.
Everyone and anyone had been to a far off temple and returned with alternate tokens of their trip. Rock went on a journey of discovery from raw offensive honesty (the spirit of Rock’nRoll) to contemplative awareness and protest songs. It wasn’t as if backing the hippie ideals was a hardcore rebellious thing to do. The whole concept of revolutionizing the world was just as trendy and hip as going to Katmandu (that was “just like Butlins” according to Ringo Starr).

(Right is the Maharishi with the

fab four in 1968)

It was kind of an embarrassing time in Rock’nRoll history when the rich and the famous were running around their hotel rooms in imported leather jesus-sandals preaching the salvation of hallucinogens.

I have nothing against the enlightenment or the drugs. I do have a problem with the shoes. Bad style is just offensive. You wouldn’t catch Skid Row in a pair of strappy sandals.

Indoctrinating the Youth is very Rock'nRoll!

GUITAR WARS TOURNAMENT 2010

*Young and Pro Talent showcased at Guitar Wars Competition!*


Guitar Wars,the annual guitar competition for junior school learners with prizes sponsored by Marshall Music, is the brainchild of well-loved local rocker Jono Dose. The event was once again warmly hosted by Grove Primary School but this time budding musos rocked their hearts out at night. Official Guitar Wars t-shirts were on sale with designs by the talented Ian Jepson.

The winner of this year’s event, Daniel Newton (Rondebosch Boys Prep), went home with a beautiful Les Paul and free set-up by judge Gareth Travis of Marshall Music. He was joined on the judging panel by classical whizz-kid, Mark Rontsch and Charles Knighton-Pullin, the acclaimed lead guitarist of SABRETOOTH and Almost Famous Band.

The kids rocked harder than the previous year and came with their game faces on. They showcased their rhythm playing, promising shred solos, improvisation work and even some singing. They were also faced with an onslaught of ridiculous questions and some tough criticism.

After an array of challenging covers, well-known hits and own compositions, the final results came down to the age old classic debate of feel and energy versus technical ability. After a photo shoot and the awards presentation it was on with the show and time for the pros demonstration.

The audience was thrilled with a jam by Jono Dose (guitar), Stu Jepson (drums) and SABRETOOTH’s Ryan Swanich (bass).

The evening came to an end with a stellar surprise. Canadian singer/songwriter and pro blues (wo)man guitarist Natasha Meister joined them on the stage and wowed the crowd with her rendition of Valerie and a jam of her own material.

All in all a fantastic and well orchestrated event. Here’s hoping for more musical indoctrination of the youth in the future. Rock on!

SYNERGY LIVE 26-28Nov 2010, Boschendal Wine Estate

*Great Weekend, Great Vibe, Great Style and Great Apes!*

Synergy was a mind-blowing weekend of festival fun. Three days of three stages with very different bands allowed for some great exposure to fantstic new things that our local scene is pumping out as well as some international flavour, the main stage featuring the likes of Feeder and Prime circle on saturday night.

Sweltering sun beat down apon the festival-goers on friday as they bravely and sweatily made the great trek from car to campsite. A productive day of river-related relaxation was topped off in style by some befoklike boere bands; Die Heuwels Fantasties, Foto na Dans, Van Coke Kartel, Taxi Violnce who’s rock’nroll got dancers going mental and finally the mysterious but musical club-sound legends Jax Panik entertained with crazy lights, frenzied beats and illegal dance-moves. A definite win.

Meanwhile the Electro-dome boomed and squeaked its way through the nights and days pumping pulsing tunes till the early hours of the morning. Boasting massive crowds at any given hour and equally massive names like Tommygun, Killer Robot & Goldfish, the electro-dome sucked passers by into their thumping UV laser-lit party faster and easier than Courtney Love.

A surprisingly grey Saturday made for perfect gig weather for those of us rocking out on the dance floors! The main stage thrilled crowds with the haunting tunes of The Sleepers, the bobbing beats of The Rudimentals and some porkrock courtesy of HOG HOGGIDY HOG. But the clear highlight of Synergy fest was incontestably the LMG stage.

(Spur Burgers came a close second)

Nineteen year old guitarist and singer-songwriter Natasha Meister (Canada) rocked the LMG tent with soulful Stevie-ray-vaughan feel in the early afternoon.

The travelling circus must have passed by the Boschendal area, providing SYNERGY with mad funfair rides and a few carnies that got left behind: JINX and some curious misfits got the LMG tent going nuts to their theatrical electronic operatic carnival tunes. After much spinning and skipping the fine gents from Helderview offered a few good tunes and a while later the guys from We Set Sail produced an enjoyable set. Before long the space was invaded by a mass of bandana-clad, band-shirted metal warriors. SABRETOOTH got the masses moshing, guitarists gobsmacked and sexy girls pulling sultry stunts! They shredded their way through an epic set to a roaring crowd wanting more! “Metaaaaaaal!”

Fox Comet kept the crowds happy and bouncing after that. Birthday-boy Kyle Grey beat us a little drum solo while their proudly-ginger vocalist Rob Coutts promoted the ginger flashmob. (Yes. It’s just like Cartman says, they are uniting.) Altogether an impressive late afternoon! Such was the vibe that many festival-goers forgot all about the main stage action.

Strength to strength, in true local style LMG kept pumping out the talent. Ree-burth’s front man jumped, threw, thrust and whipped his way through their set with bloodcurdling screams from Soweto. (Handy little gimmick that.)

Then it was over to The Great Apes for some authentic Rock’nRoll! Raw and powerful. They have it nailed. Hard-rocking rhythm, whining solos, roaring vocals and thrashing drums. They are the violent hardcore attitude of rock’nroll! The epic Saturday lineup ended with crowds flailing drunkenly to the rockabilly ego trip ala The Mochines. Perfection!

After that it’s all downhill. Once the main stage and the LMG tent were closed, the electro bubble happily pounded on into the new day and thankfully so did a bar or two. Sunday brought with it some rain, then some sunshine, some headaches and the close of a most successful music festival. Happy (and hungover) campers headed homeward for a recovery time to put their bodies and minds back together.

Dan Patlansky at the Cape Farmhouse Restaurant,Red Hill

***
Afternoon Feel-Trip
***

One overcast Saturday afternoon, in a land far far away from the rest of civilization, crowds huddled together on patches of grass (sometimes in the rain) to get a glimpse at the musical magician that is Dan Patlansky.

Technical brilliance outshone only by his intense feel, Dan takes you on a journey from gentle pauses to rip-roaring solos with mind-bending speed, skill and style playing most of his sets with songs from the aptly titled album, Move my Soul.

Not a single note out of place. He opens his mouth and further awes the audience with his mature-beyond-his-years voice and humble attitude.

A life-changing revelation for first-timers and for those that have been privileged enough to catch him before (like most of the rain-enduring, dedicated fans), he still manages to blow you away every time.

Natasha Meister at The Red Herring, Noordhoek

***
Not Just a Pretty Face
***

The darling of blues feel, Natasha Meister (Canada) rocked out at the Red Herring on a lazy Sunday evening. Noordehoek locals were charmed by the young lady’s unassuming nature and taken a back by her skills.

Chilled and friendly, she rocked out some hardcore Stevie-ray style, jamming with local hot guitarist Jono Dose. She is definitely not just a token chick with a guitar! This girl can really play. And she sings too. A neat little performance package.

The general pub buzz was quickly converted into cinematic silence while the awed audience were sucked in by the rocking licks and tangible chemistry.

The low-key vibe sported International-standard entertainment. A pleasant surprise!

Prologue: Dani Dimond

“If you're losing your soul and you know it,
then you've still got a soul left to lose”
- Charles Bukowski

***
1987

***

1987 -The year that Artists protested the Sistine Chapel restoration, Les Misrables was awarded 8 tony awards, Bruce Willis married Demi Moore (which later turned out to be a mistake), Condom commercials appeared on t.v. for the first time, Porn star Ciccolina won a seat in the Italian parliament and Choreographic-genius Bob Fosse died of a heart attack on September 23.

Meanwhile, back in South Africa in 1987 the proverbial shit hit the fan! Police raided English newspapers seizing documents relating to the legalization of the ANC, some people were killed in a grenade attack on Tladi Secondary School, Sweden boycotted trade with South Africa, car bombs, land mines, riots and apartheid-in-general wreaked havoc on the country and on the fifteenth of July at One thirty-five
– I was born.

I’d lament missing all the good stuff – Nat King Cole, Sinatra, Elvis, John Coltrane, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, The Beatles, Bob Marley, Patti Smith, Madonna’s “Virgin” Tour… - but there wasn’t much of that going on in South Africa anyway. No Andy Warhol. No Beatniks. The Hippies, the Punks, the Disco Era and even Pop and Rock were small here. The revolutions in this country weren’t written in lyrics and sung in concert halls, they were written in blood and sung with propaganda. Far less attractive.

However, I grew-up happily oblivious in our newly free democratic “rainbow nation” full of faux-reconciliation and colour and culture, though none of it my own. I remember waking up at six to watch American cartoons for four hours on our 3-channelled T.V and staying up late to catch British sitcoms. I could whistle the theme tune of The Thin Blue Line way before I’d learned the National Anthem.

I was always creative. The world doesn’t take well to creative types. A freckly middle-classed kid stuck in a world that’s been shitter before and looks like it’s heading in an equally shit direction. Bored and disillusioned, craving influence and change, I got into the Clash and the Sex Pistols at 12 or 13. I also got into clubs and bars for the first time with photocopies of a doctored I.D. Just a few safety-pins, a pair of scissors and some permanent marker later, I was rocking that look. I thought I was super hard-core. A right little punk-rocker.

School was easy for me, so was finding friends. ‘Though I gravitated towards the psychos. The misfits. The crazies. We rocked the underage joints with dreads, Mo-hawks, takkies, badges, shredded stockings, patchwork tartan & denim skirts, fake train-tickets and double-brandy & cokes. Skanking around and moshing at sweaty, live punk-rock gigs. The Purple Turtle was the doorway to subculture. The turtle closed a few years later. Most of the crew had moved on by then anyway. Some went metal, some went hippie, some went indie, some went emo and some even went boring. I went Rock’nRoll -The language of revolution. Not just the clothes, the icons, the bands, or the style. Rock’nRoll is more than music, it’s a lifestyle.

“People ask the question... what's a RocknRolla? And I tell 'em - it's not about drums, drugs, and hospital drips, oh no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of the good life - some the money, some the drugs, others the sex game, the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why? Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot.”
–first lines from the movie RocknRolla (2008)

Of all the rocking generations past, the 80s has by far out-influenced this age. Neon, animal print, high waist-lines and big hair are back. Plastic and denim never left. But the main lesson learned from our 80s heritage is Attitude!

Attitude and a teen-like rebellion along with a love of lycra, leopard print and leather has rendered me a true-to-birth lovechild of the 80s.